Here I am with loads to do on a Sunday morning, and don’t know where to start. I always knew the best way to de-stress is to de-clutter. Let go of possessions, and you immediately feel a lot lighter. So I take upon the daunting challenge of clearing my wardrobe. Hopefully by the end of this exercise, I’ll have space for some new additions.
I slide in the mirrored panel, and am greeted with hues from an era gone by. The brocade sarees gifted to me by my mum….my worst critic, and yet the only one whose opinion really matters. Being loggerheads with her all through my growing years seemed only natural. After all, I am precisely what she does not want me to be….her replica. I have inherited her determination; stubbornness and temper, in addition to her creativity, brown eyes and ‘never say die’ attitude. She wanted culinary skills and housekeeping thrown in, but I think that was too much for the Creator himself. Time moved on, and yes I became a mother. Somehow, the tables turned and I was on the other side of the fence. When, how, why I have no recollection…… but I do know I have rediscovered my mum all over again. And she is enjoying childhood a second time round, this time on my expense. So I guess the sarees will have to stay.
Hidden from my view, crumpled on the shelf, there lie a bunch of scarves bought by my dad. It was from his first trip to London. Now what was I going to do with scarves? But then again dad had never been that great at shopping, let alone pick things for the women folk. He’d always been the kind of a father you look up to. He worked hard to provide for his family, and expected respect and gratitude in return. He always believed that you return the way you walk out of the house every morning, honesty and integrity intact. He was my hero and now with him gone, those scarves that I never wore have taken his place. A constant reminder of his presence in my life….I‘ll just have to look at something else to let go of….not these….not yet!
Well, what do we have here? A sexy black dress that all fashion divas swear having is necessary. It’s a simple A length halter bought by my husband when we were dating. I wore it to the millennium dance. Oh, how that year was hyped with Y2K and nothing happened to most computers! I looked like a million bucks, alright. And yes, he sported me on his arm through out. What a night that was? It’s funny how you keep a dress in the closet and it shrinks 2 sizes! Well so did my relationship with my man. It’s moved on from being honey bun, sweetheart, darling, pudding, and pumpkin to ‘are you still in the shower?’ Sometimes it makes me wonder why do people advocate marriage. And then there are days when you have someone to come home to. Someone who lets you be just the mad, aggravated you, for he knows you will calm down after the outburst. He lands up unannounced to pick you from a class or puts the baby to bed. He doesn’t buy you flowers, and has never really understood the significance of mushy movies but then how many of those kinds are there really? Okay, so cricket is really important, and so are football and tennis, but I do get my occasional Desperate Housewives. So I guess I’ll just keep this one. Who knows probably Munchkin will wear it for another Christmas dance.
Who Munchkin you say? Well she is my lil devil all of 6 years. I thought I had the gift of the gab, till she learnt to talk. I still can’t believe my closest competition has been brewing all this while under my nose. At her age she is quite sure about what she wants. ‘Mama, I want chocolate not strawberry milkshake’. ‘Pink is for girls, blue is for boys’. ‘Can I have the remote?’ Sometimes I wish kids came with user manuals, at least I’d know where the switch off button is! Way back when I was 6 I’d be grateful if I got a gift, let alone choose it. With every year I think this one is going to be alright, but then we graduate from a Barbie to a Hannah Montana and I find myself answering questions like, if a boy is my friend is he my boyfriend? Why do people kiss? Do I have to get married? And as much as I try to answer all questions with honesty, I don’t really think she is convinced. But then again I don’t remember a day without her. All my happy memories somehow have Munchkin in them. And I think I am just going to enjoy the music while it lasts. Before I know, it will be time to let go, and then I won’t be able to say, just this once.
Let’s search for something else, shall we? And what do we have here, a t-shirt that reads ‘I’d walk with you if you are going my way’. Ah yes, it was made for the annual College Fest. My best friend had a similar one. The two of us were inseparable. She really is my soul mate, and even today can gauge by a single hello how good a conversation we are going to have. She moved on to the US to get a coveted MBA degree, and have seen her twice in the past 8 years. Miss her tremendously, but thank god for webcams and cell phones. Never knew long distance relationships could survive, till I worked on this one. Having friends is one, but being able to have a friendship that’s rock solid is something else. Truly, our paths entwined, and we have pretty much walked with each other subconsciously. So t-shirt in you go…. Glad you surfaced though!
So as I close my wardrobe, not really managed to get rid of much, but it sure did open some closed corners. Memories, moments, my family, and my life all pretty much stocked in there. In a sense I did declutter…I cleared the cobwebs from my mind’s eye…..and set a part of me free.
Comments
Ahh…she is trying to clear the armoire of memories but she’d rather hold on to them?
You have a beautiful, compelling style. That I had to leave for the gym, didn’t matter. I had to read what you had to say. You know how to engage your readers.
Let me promote you on Twitter and Facebook. You deserve to be read.
Ok I am overwhelmed………did not expect so many responses.Now I know what you mean Purba when you spoke of acceptance……….you have my gratitude, love and respect. Don’t know you………..but yet I think I do 🙂
Very lovely piece.Its funny we never intent on making memories, never even stop to think that this dress will be looked upon someday in future. Yet every time we stop ourselves to de-clutter the memories overwhelm us. I know my wadrobe de-clutter is due for a long while!
Hey Sandy, thanks so much for writing in……it really is such a huge encouragement. I am telling you, every time I’ve wanted to let go…..I’ve put some of it back……just can’t. Call it human nature or just the need to kind of remain connected…my wardrobe multiplies forever.
Thanks to Purba, for leading me to your lovely blog! It could not have come at a more opportune time! Yesterday, I struggled to clear my wardrobe and then on same lines ended up from where I started after juggling with associated sweet memories!
Purba is becoming my Hero No.1 and when I read her blog the first I am beginning to think there was some divine intervention 🙂
I am glad you liked what I wrote Rahul…..never thought it would strike so many like minded across the blogosphere. 🙂
Welcome to lovely world of Blogs “BlogwatiG”……Loved the way you have written the whole scenario here….keep blogging….
Best wishes,
irfan.
thanks Irfan……….and love the name…don’t you think? That I am a huge Javed Aktar/Farhan Aktar Fan goes without saying 🙂 Gracias
I rode a tweet to your blog and got instantly glued. By the time I reached the end, my eyes swam in something. Before you wonder, I am a man pushing the wrong side of forties, doggedly dodging the reading glasses being pushed on me by the oculist. Focussing on the small screen of the phone is known to trigger such emotions, you know. What, something is wrong with my throat too? Let me see, did something touch the cinders in the ash?
I fish out the laptop and reread your piece, which I rarely do now. Hey, what’s wrong with little reminiscences? Doesn’t everyone have these moments? I will get those damned glasses, the kind they stick in shirt pockets like fat pens. And I will use that inhaler today, after all. You do get soar throats, don’t you?
And there, yet again, I go!
…… nothing more that I can pen will do justice to what you have written…..so I will rely on a simple ‘thank you’. and yes I hear you…
Great post! So many incidents that I could personally relate to. And, I loved the line about your mom enjoying childhood the second time around :).
Rachna you have no clue! Everything that was a no no for me and my sister is absolutely acceptable for my daughter. My mom spoils her silly…..but you know what I ain’t complaining. Woman to woman….across generations…..nothing binds more stronger 🙂
Hey,you know what?
I do not like the background color of your blog, but, your writing made me to like it only on your blog, that is 🙂
Very very nicely written..
Thanks Purba 🙂
Hey Bhavana, trying to do my bit for a greener world really…even if it is cyberspace. 😀 So glad you came and stayed till the end. Thank you.
And Purba ………….Muah!
Hey Suruchi….can totally identify with that. This Valentines he so sweetly said….”In case you are expecting me to take you out, let me know. It would be great if you can book the place too, so that later you don’t crib about the place I took you to”. Love ’em or hate ’em, not much of choice eh….lol 🙂
Your relationship changing with your man and how the dress changed to two sizes smaller is an echo of my own situation…
such a wonderful read this was…tugging at the heart…
following you for more:-)
It started as a total women-turned-girls again kind of blog but then the importance of memories seeped in and it struck a chord. I am probably 10-12 years away from having such memories (and definitely a 6 year old daughter 🙂 ), but I could relate to it.
Beautiful post…you earned a follower 🙂
Thanks so much Prateek……..:) This piece was my first ever personal write up 3 years ago. So when I decided to take the cyber plunge, could not find anything more befitting to share. I’m glad I did…..coz it touched so many.hearts….a befitting blessing 🙂
Thank you yet again……….SL 🙂
A trip down the memory lane. Well written, indeed.
It is hard to let go. Sometimes you just have to, to clear the clutter. But sometimes, what looks like clutter, is in fact a gold mine of old memories. Memories are something you always want to cling to.
But then a counter argument, can be that clinging to memories means dwelling in the past. Time never halts. Why should we
To counter it one can say that moments are what the memory stores and brings them back to you when you sit alone, staring at nothing.
Dammit…I have begun having an argument with myself.
Anyway, to summarize it all. A very beautifully written post.
P.S. Welcome to the world of Blogging, BlogwatiG 🙂
Lovely piece, Blogwati! This is the first one i’ve read from your blog, really like the way you write!! Reminds me, I have to sort my wardrobe too:))
Chatty Wren @ Thanks so much, nice to have you here..:)
A beautiful post. We just cannot throw away some things, can we? 🙂 I have the first baby dresses worn by my monkeys tucked away 🙂
Thanks, Shail. Yes, we are such hoarders of memories, I tell you. I have them dresses too….and my mom has mine, along with my sister’s 🙂
The genre of writing that moves me the most: a post coming straight from the heart, laden with memories and emotions…
Thank you so much Medha. And better late than never, on the commenting that is.
In other words, you wrote beautifully ‘bachpan se hi’. Not so with me. I wrote awfully in the beginning. But you’ve asked for the first post, and by gawd ki kasam, you’ll get it!
Ah, now I remember how so many comments unattended on this post. This was the ‘first post’ wala activity.
Oh, Dagny, I refuse to believe that you have ever written badly. It is a concept that does not exist. And I don’t flatter you, I state plain facts.
Rula diya aapne. It is so well written, all emotions intact. Abhi milna bantha hain. 🙂
Awwwwwww Pooja, milna toh totally banta hai. You are high up on that list, girl. Mwah!
What a lovely first post, Vinita. It was a story-so-far, in the best sense of the word, and brought me straight into the thick of the action, introducing me to all the people that mean the most to you.
Lovely, as always.
Awww, thanks Cynthia. Yes, this post holds dear for a whole lotta reasons. Thank you for reading.
A lovely first post!!! The amount of history and the memories associated with our material belongings really come in the way of decluttering! Loved reading this 🙂
Thanks Fab. Yes, our history and memories is what makes us who we are. Decluttering those ain’t that easy at all.
Lovely first post. Rakes in so many of my memories…<3
Yes, Kajal……………it does………so many!
A sentimental post everyone can relate to. You wrote well, you write well.
You just love me, that’s all. 🙂
What a fabulous post to start with! I absolutely loved how you described the wardrobe full of memories!! Just awesome!
Thanks Rosh. This post, I remember, just flowed……….out of me….right from the depths of my heart. And I guess, it shows.