F fabricates FORWARDS

Image courtesyย http://www.freeimages.co.uk

Even as I write this, I have unknown relatives waiting to stash their millions into my bank account. Apparently, they can’t trust their government and their life is in grave danger. Apart from making me feel like a part of a James Bond movie, ย they continue without a clue of my first name. Such emails always begin with ‘Dear Friend’ and end in ‘send me your bank details’. The five emails currently in my E-mail box make me wonder, perhaps, dad has not been completely honest with us. Or maybe it really is mom? She alwaysย harped on the importance of ethnicity. Considering this new found development, am I even Indian?

My thoughts areย interruptedย by a notification on my screen. A picture of aย malnourishedย alien somewhere in Timbuktu tugs at my heart. It makes me feel guilty for being able to sit in the comfort of my home office and see him. “Like the picture if you have a heart.ย Share if you areย have an ass.” My eyes get clouded for a moment. One like is all it will take to put food on his table. I bless theย generousย soul who shows me what’s happening at the other end of the solar system. We tend to get so wrapped in our own lives that we forget to be grateful.

I’ve hardly recovered from the pictorial attack when someone shares a video of how Hitler has shown a keen interest in making Harry Potter his masterchef. The video has just about gone viral and already has 2,00,000 hits. I laugh at their foolishness. Everyone knows T. Cruise has already appointed him as Suri’s personal gym trainer. “It’s too late for Hitler”, I comment, making my displeasure known.

In other news, the First Lady’s memoirs now to be an action packed motion picture titledย If I’d married him. ATM ย robberies no longer aย lucrativeย business, as enteringย the reverse PIN alerts the neighbour’s dog. Talking about dogs, the world’s largest dog has adopted a horse , while Disney’s Little Mermaid was seen sunbathing in Malaysia. A gentle reminder, it also is the GUFFAWS (Great Universal Fools Felicitationย & AWarenesS) Month, please turn off the lights in your profile picture to extend your support.

I diligentlyย clickย forward and send this to the 1000 odd friends on my list. After all sharing is caring. ‘Happy are those who haven’t seen and yet believe’, said the Lord. I see and I believe. Am I supposed to question the authenticity? In that case,ย I wonder why is the internet called the world wide web? Maybe, Spiderman has a stake in the global shares. Go figure!

‘Share’ if you love the girl next door. ‘Like’ if you fancy her mother.

ย 

Misplaced Alaskan

ย This is a Blog Hop

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73 responses to “F fabricates FORWARDS”

  1. Corinne Rodrigues avatar
    Corinne Rodrigues

    I’m ‘liking’ and ‘sharing’ for fear of the Goddess BlogwatiG introducing me to and landing me with some of her notorious fans in the near future! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Corinne, the heavens are pleased and some good will befall you in the next 24 hours. Don’t break this chain!

  2. Suzy avatar
    Suzy

    Fabulous – share with 5 10 15 friends in the next 5 mins or else beware! The delete button is ever so handy.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      You got that right Suzy ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. Dee avatar

    How about comment? What does commenting do?

    Haha this made me laugh. Great post! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Commenting gets me to visit your Blog Dee, which I did and loved. Thanks for connecting.

  4. Shilpa Garg avatar

    Hilarious! I seriously wonder about the “send me your bank details”… I mean what were they thinking when creating these mails!!
    And I hate those things on FB… Pictures of Gods and a flashing message, Like in 1 minute if you are a true Bhakt! or 1 million Likes for this Cancer patient!!

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Tell me about it Shilpa. According to all the fwds I did not send, I’m not on the safe list of any deity.

  5. JANU avatar

    LOL…I would have been raking in billions by now.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      And then I would have been your best friend ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Rainbow Hues avatar

    Nice one done here…quite some wit ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for the post

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Glad you thought so ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Cuckoo avatar

    I know… some Nigerians have been following me assiduously for a few days now. And hey,you FORGOT how ‘Shirdi Baba’ will bless you if you ‘forward’ a pic of his or alternatively curse you! And like the pic of Mother Teresa ๐Ÿ™‚

    Fantastic post. Super fun!

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Cuckoo, I did put in a subtle mention towards the fag end. Don’t want Saffron ire on my creative liberties ๐Ÿ˜›

  8. prateek mathur avatar

    Super funny post, Blogwati Gee! However,this kind of forwarding, has another side to it. When desperate teenagers click on “such” links, and they get forwarded to their entire lists, there is a always a following post stating how their account was hacked and they didn’t spam! ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      You are telling me Prateek! It is like the Forward button is a part of their damn motherboard.

  9. Vita Razgale avatar

    Great post! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Afshan avatar

    hehe there r no interesting creatures my next door !
    loved wat all u told. I love forwarding but only some thng which really excited/ impacted not som chain mail which says Forward for luck or for donation

    Yest I read abt”The Boulder Pledge.” in a frnds blog
    It so makes sense

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      As long as you verify before you click, it’s all good Afshan.

  11. Roshni AaMom avatar

    LOL, Blogwati!! You nailed it on this time!! And, right now, I’m waiting for my Nigerian prince to rescue me, as he promised to in an email!! ๐Ÿ˜›

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Nigerian prince, Russian Princess and Indian setting………hmmm sounds like an M&B on the way, Roshni.

  12. sridevi datta avatar

    Hhhe for one moment you had me F for fooled with that title ๐Ÿ™‚ I thought it would be something about “Moving forward” in life ๐Ÿ™‚ but I am really going to forward this to the next 100 people on my list ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      And you will be blessed abundantly. Look for a sign in the next 48 hours. Your cellphone will ring.

  13. Nandana avatar

    Frankly, by the texts that I got, that I won 1,000,000 GBP, USD..blah blah, I should have been featured on the Forbes World’s Richest List long back.

    Need of the hour, this post. Good one Vinita.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Ah, and we’d be best friends. Glad you liked the post.

  14. Anonymous avatar
    Anonymous

    Like like and like and identified with it too .Jacinta

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Lol, thanks A.Jacinta

  15. magnumlady.com avatar

    Thanks for the laugh! What a great blog and so true!

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Glad you liked what you read ๐Ÿ˜€

  16. Cynthia Rodrigues Manchekar avatar

    You had me laughing throughout this hilarious post. By the way, today someone sent me a photo which shows Bill Gates holding a placard that says, send this mail to 10 others and for every send I will donate $100 to some African country, I forget which.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Great, now you also will join the ranks of the rich and the spammed!

  17. DL Shackleford avatar

    Excellent!! You perfectly captured the absurdity of it all and had me laughing out loud.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Thanks DL. It is a circus out there.

  18. Priya Sreeram avatar

    wow- what a fabulous post vinita; tickled my funny bones to the extreme.F is for fun unlimited ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Thanks Priya. Had this dancing in my head for days ๐Ÿ˜€

  19. Lusting Lola! avatar

    LOL. Seriously, great post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lola @ Sex Babble

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      I almost ticked you as spam, lol. Thanks for reading.

  20. Vishal Rathod avatar

    An awesome one Blogwati G

  21. Chatty Wren avatar

    ROFL post, loved it! I’m also targeted by these weight-loss spammers, don’t know how they know about me? Actually forwarding this post is a great idea ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      You must Chatty or you will have a blue sky every morning to wake up to.

  22. Neo Prady avatar

    Spammers and cheaters online. And still the worst you see many of your friends a part of this fool game. Very well written n the sarcasm was simply awesome.

    http://neoimaginations.blogspot.in/

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      The problem is we don’t read and analyse, we just click like and share!

  23. Naina Madan avatar

    The forwards!Forward this message to 10 people you love. You will get a good news you have wanting to hear in next 10 minutes. Do not ignore this message. Do forward. I just did.

    Hahaha!!! Awesome!

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      See, told you….it works ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Vidya Sury avatar

    ๐Ÿ˜€ I get a lot of those, too. The first time, years ago, I was like…what?!? They are mostly from Nigeria/Kenya type places and sometimes the UK.

    Hilarious post. My neighbors are all elderly.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Vidya, relocate to a new neighbourhood ๐Ÿ˜›

  25. Shail Mohan avatar

    Haha, can’t stop laughing. I wrote once about this penchant on the part of total strangers on the internet to want yo fill my coffers with money. And as for the likes and shares that is supposed to do just about everything for you, the less said the better.

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      I must read that Shail. Will ask you for the link.

  26. Deepa avatar

    LOL. Seriously! If forwards and likes ran the world, we would all be millionaires and cancer would have long been eradicated and there would be no world poverty or hunger! Jeez, the forwards that come in! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Hai na Deepa! And yet they thrive….and how!

  27. Haddock avatar

    Hilarious but sadly true. Out of a ten thousand there are one or two who really fall for that “send me your bank details”

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      True that. But the forwards are dime by a dozen. Thanks for dropping by.

  28. Blogwati Gee avatar

    Damn, my bad Tanmay! Let me go look for some more killer pics.

  29. Rickie avatar

    I tell you! What Bill Gates is trying to do with his Foundation, I am trying to do by hitting the Like and Share buttons! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Hysterically funny!

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      And you will be blessed with a sign at 11.59 am The clock will strike 12!

  30. Tanmay avatar
    Tanmay

    Dear Blogwati, there will surely be some disappointed Nigerian princes and still starving Mali kids coz of this post!

    At least send more details of the sunbathing mermaid. Maybe she needs some sunblock?

  31. P V Ariel avatar

    Hi Blogwati Gee,
    Good to hear from you again,
    This is really and interesting post, and ha, i am also a blessed person with millions of relative in abroad, who wants my bank details. LOL. Still the sad part is that many are falling prey to
    such relative. So sad.Thanks again for dropping by. at Tins’s page
    Getting to Know Tina’s Terrific Team!Phil.
    Good Wishes
    Keep in touch

    Phil @ Philipscom
    An ambassador to A to Z Challenge @ Tina’s Life is Good
    And My Bio-blog

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Thanks so much. If you get rich, lemme know ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Awwwww, thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. Terrye avatar

    LOL Wonderful! I love how you’ve weaved all those lovely spam emails into a captivating story! Nicely done and thank you so much for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop!

    1. blogwatig avatar
      blogwatig

      Thanks so Terrye. Oh yes, those spam mails are something else. Thank you for dropping by. I am loving this challenge. It is so me.

  33. Sarah Almond avatar
    Sarah Almond

    Aw, now I feel bad for sending those emails to spam. I could have been rich! Thank you for hooking up with us at the Humor Me Blog Hop!

    1. blogwatig avatar

      Ah, Sarah, if you only knew!

  34. Shail avatar

    Reading it again and laughing out loud all over.

    1. blogwatig avatar

      And I am pleased as a punch!

  35. Ritu Lalit avatar

    What about those “Sneeze heavily if you have a heartache” and “Eat this if you have cancer” kind of mails. They always make my ticker palpitate and send me hunting for non existent tumours in my body. The best friend type makes me laugh, I don’t have money to bank, so than ye kindly

    1. blogwatig avatar

      Oh, I guess I missed them. Maybe will do a round two on these!

  36. Anuradha avatar

    You seriously made me look into my inbox… 8442 unread mails and I am a millionaire after being the luckiest person for so many people, have received the blessings of all Gods and babas. Not to mention the text messages and recent calls about winning the mega prize at Inorbit sale.

    1. blogwatig avatar

      And if you are rich, I am your best friend!

  37. […] for ME Been there, done that.ย ย Broadcast to the […]

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