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Men might not be from Mars, but they surely don’t try too hard to change the adage. If they only took the time to set a few things right, they’d have women worshiping the ground they walk on. Ok, now that I have your undivided attention, let’s get this baby going. No, you idiot! Not my place, nor yours for that matter. I mean this darn blog post. Breathe now!
Let’s start at the very beginning. Scenario one, Boy sees girl. He likes what he sees. Ask him what she looked like and he probably will probably pay an ode to the twins. Any boy shaking his head while reading this, just one question. What was she wearing? If your answer is a spaghetti top, yup, you’ve noticed them. The right answer is Blue Suede shoes.
On the other hand, Scenario Two, Girl sees Boy. This is what the blurb would read ‘Hmmm, a tab bit unkempt, but he has such soft brown eyes. And blue makes him look so darn hot. He looks a little shy. Maybe I’ll talk to him. But what if he already has a girlfriend? Oh dear, it will make me look like an idiot. Stop, stop right now. Turn your head, give him the look and walk away. Hope he did not notice me staring’…………... And if we were to ask, what was he wearing? A blue shirt with a light blue collar, denims and Nike shoes. He was 5.10″ and straight out the M&B novels. He lives in Bandra and has a dog named Gabbar……………..get the drift?
Too much disparity, so little time and patience. So how do we bridge the gap? Here’s a step by step ‘how’. Read, learn and be enlightened.
For Him
1. Notice her beyond what you see. She is worth it.
2. She likes to talk. Get over it and pay attention.
3. Women fall hook, line and sinker for a man with good humour. Cheap jokes, save it.
4. Holding hands will earn you brownie points. Over the top PDA is a strict no no.
5. When you kiss, don’t be a wanderlust. Focus. And keep a tab on your hands, please!
6. When you go the mile, make sure to ask for directions. Don’t drive like a maniac.
7. Sports does not equal shopping. Sports is null and void in an argument, mostly.
8. The toilet seat remains down. No questioning that!
9. For Chrissake, match your shoes and your belt! It’s a cardinal rule of evolution.
10. You are her boyfriend, not her bodyguard. Give her some space dude.
For Her
1. He is not a DIY project. Don’t attempt to change him.
2. Yes, there are days he does not want to be with you. Stop whining.
3. Don’t attempt to give him a pet name. Get a parrot, dog, fish for your ‘Pumpkin’ fetish.
4. He is not an upgrade from the ‘have beens’ in your life. Stop keeping scores.
5. Throw those M&Bs out coz frankly my dear, he don’t give a damn.
6. He does not need you to chronicle his life, let alone his faults.
7. Don’t expect him to read the signs if they are in Chinese.
8. Passion is a key ingredient. Don’t save it for collecting shoes.
9. Don’t complicate things. Tell him once. If he don’t listen, outsource. He’ll learn.
10. Lace is known to scale walls which tears could not wash away. Use it woman!
And now that you know, don’t kill each other. Let Mars and Venus co-exist, or not, as I take the next flight to Sedna. Tally Ho, my peeps.
Comments
AWESOME post!! I love the lists.
Connie
A to Z-ing to the end
Peanut Butter and Whine
Thanks Connie. Grinning ear to ear.
The rules about this is that there are no predictable rules 😛
PhenoMenon
http://capturedalive.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/stop/
Ah, the naive may think so….but there are 😀
LOLing all along, you must be a marriage counselor 🙂
Sigh, don’t ask. Been doing this since grade 9. Sorting affairs 😛
the Ask for directions, don’t drive like a maniac was a rocker and the lace & pumpkin fetish for her had me grinning ! totally cool post vinita- best till date 🙂
Thanks Priya. Yup men and women can be quite daft at times. When all they need is really a fresh outlook 😀
Interesting post!
Yup, I know 🙂
Hahaha…..been there, done that and still wondering how tbis works. No brownie points for being a Balika Vadhu.
Minus points for being Balika Vadhu Janu 😛
Hello…it does not mean I do not have experience 😉
Awesome this was entertaining and pretty perfect. Loved this post. Bookmarked for future reference 😀
Happy to make you smile Suzy. Do come again and again. This post would love it.
Should get hubs to read this 😉
Bring all the hubs and the missus’….I am loving it 😀
hehehee. Seriously funny. I loved the lines ‘he is not your DIY project’ although the thought of assuming him to be one is so damn tempting.
I am little uninitiated about” lace is known…….” ,what do you mean by that ,please explain .I am sure it must be something very interesting.
Kriti, let me DM you with the details 😛
Loved loved loved the post… 😀 Laughed away through it 😀
I must get mrs to read this asap !!! 😀
Great. Lemme know what the missus has to say 🙂
God only you can come up with something like this ! Loved it and might just use a few of the tips 😛
Ruchira, what to do? I am toh like that only!
I loved the DIY part 😀 First we love the men in our life and then we want to change them for our good 😉 We are crazy that way.
Absolutely. Then we can’t blame them na!
Haha!! 😀 This is a must read for all. I am still laughing at DIY project… A cool post! 😀
Thanks Shilpa 😀
This is so darn good. I would listen to this GYAN ur place my place or in open 😉 seriously Loved this Vinita. How true and what a fun take on this topic which actually WILL WORK
Love ya
good day
Hee hee, thanks Afshan. Please, you are welcome anytime.
Your HIS and HER comments are spot on. I have much to learn from point 7.
Ha ha ha Cynthia, years of practice I’d say 😛
Frankly, I see a person and a person and don’t like the stereotypes we some time revel in!
* a person as a person
Ah, to have your wisdom Corinne…………..:D
Genius!!! Loved it!
Gracias 😀
#6 for him and #7 for her…just classic!!! 😀
Dhanyavaad. Hum aapki seva main hamesha haazir hain 😀
Lol! Was fun…. too good. But true too… 🙂
-Fellow blogger from A to Z!
It really is, isn’t it? 😛
With the man in my life, my list of ‘instructions to use'(him) gets made afresh every day.Needless to say,they go to the shredder within minutes of making.
So,when do we start lessons???
Lessons start this weekend Sharmila. God knows you need them 😛
Wonder when this will happen? Only when the clouds of stereotyping clear and the persons beneath becomes visible. In the meantime enjoyed reading 🙂
This is common sense. Please put it up as every six months or so on all the FB walls you can! It has to be re-learned every half a year
LOL!! vinny, im coming to you for all relationship advice! 😛