My dear wannabe actor,

                                      

I write to you since the last 10 missed calls on my cell phone remain to be yours, diligently, for the past week. Having proved your pursuance and determination, I’d like to add a few skills to that list of yours.  Perhaps by the end of this note you just might be a delight to have on board, or may be not….

Firstly, pray explain the need of 10 phone calls at a stretch! Any self respecting phone does have a missed call section. Come to think of it, even the Chinese ones do! So is this an attention seeking gimmick? If yes, then you surely are succeeding, for my ring tone now manages to get my teeth gritted and my eyebrows twitched in anticipation of your call. Ideally, I do revert to missed calls, even to the ones where people give me half a ring and then say ‘Oh we were trying, but could not get through’. I do understand recession has arrived in style and is surging across  multiple shores simultaneously. But somehow, I have a feeling that you will invariably call me the eleventh time, so I never land up returning your call, simply out of sheer wickedness.

Secondly, I do hope you understand that I run a business here and start my day by wading through a multitude of portfolios received by the minute. So please forgive me if I can’t recollect who you are on the phone and worse, can’t tell you immediately if I have received your pictures. I mean, I am supposed to categorize and sub categorise the database that I have, mentally. Who ever thought of computers was such a duh! This brings me to my favourite part. Sending your pictures, particularly, the ones shot in the local photo studio against white backdrops. They cannot guarantee you an entry into filmdom. Nah, the blue backgrounds won’t do either. There is a separate race called photographers, call them! And no, I am not the yellow pages nor do I get commissioned for referrals, so don’t bother asking me for ‘good cheap photographers’. What is that supposed to mean anyway?

While we are on this subject, let me also clarify, please don’t call and then ask if I am a co-ordinator? I don’t have an identity crisis and if you are a ‘wannabe actor’, I guess you really won’t be calling the armed services now, would you? And just so that you know, I run a Casting Agency, call me a coordinator and you will be exterminated. Worse still, don’t tell me your friend gave you my reference if you can’t tell me his/her name. Save your energy and my time and get your friend baptized. I do hope you know that casting is my job, but getting you a coveted role is not. And no, filling my inbox with forwards is not a sure shot way of getting there either. Get the ‘Good morning-feel good-about yourself-god loves you’ sms out of the way too!

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/reoffender/


And lastly, if you are here to be an actor without a backup plan B, C and D, then I suggest you rethink strategy. This city skyline that beckons to millions of dreams every waking day is known to change the script without apt direction. The back ground music sucks and the sub titles don’t match the story. Hence, ‘struggler’ is not a career option nor is it a current job status. Not every silhouette makes it as a brand to the Billboards. Many stories lurch in the dark alleys of lost hope and crushed aspirations. So many eyes hide behind the glare of the spotlight, doing what they’d rather not do, but have to, to sustain. Yet, the magnetism of glamour calling leaves few untouched. Talent and good looks matter, but being at the right time at the right place is known to be life changing.  No matter where you are, if it’s meant to be, opportunity will find you. Look for the signs; learn to read them in Braille, for sometimes life’s best decisions are taken with the eyes closed.




Till then…………..Iss route ki sabhi linein wyast hain, kripya thodi der baad dial karein!


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30 responses to “My dear wannabe actor,”

  1. Purba avatar

    Hm..The wannabe actor sees you as his only ray of hope.

    And he should know fame(if and when he gets it) is a fickle mistress.

  2. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Ash…plan B, C, D, E F …..I say!

    @Soniaji..I totally endorse that bit of advice. And too much of a good thing is also not so good, no?

    @Purba..I’m not really the sunshine he is craving for! And fame is just not all that he wants….sadly!

  3. Rachna avatar

    I hope all the wannabe actors out there hear you. To have other plans in place is certainly good. And, life is not only about talent but a lot about luck as well, as you pointed out.

  4. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Rachna..I have a feeling they already have.

    @C.Suresh….long time. Nice of you to drop by. IMHO if you don’t own a sense of humour, you are technically dead!

  5. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Bhavana…please to visit every time…you are just too good for my self esteem 🙂

    I am ok with playing the Goddess, but this is like the man who prayed everyday to win a lottery and God finally had to tell him one day, “Beta, ticket toh khareed”. Before these wonderful youngsters embark on a journey of fame and fortune, a trip to self discovery would be a great idea. Dreams are superb to sail on, but resources need to be in check 😀

  6. Ash avatar

    Good one! I agree with the bit on having a Plan B, that is a must.

  7. Sonia Rao avatar

    Dear Blogwati G,

    The wannabe actor’s antics had me literally ROFLMAO. But I guess, for you, it must be ‘too much of a good thing….;))’.

    And, “life’s best decisions are taken with the eyes closed.” Beautiful.

  8. C. Suresh avatar

    Even that wannabe actor could hardly help guffawing unless his sense of humour is non-existent:)

  9. Bhavana avatar

    First of all Blogwati G–love your writing style. I think people who are frustrated with the no of irritating calls they receive should employ you to be a letter-writer to post on their website’s contact page:)

    Now to the content: Wannabe actors are so young. In a system that constrains their ability to strategize, to plan, and instead provides them a dream to which they fall-hook, line and sinker, all they have is that ability to call–call on a system that they are familiar with, call somebody who is real and who is the doorway to what they consider as their dream–how convenient! Instead of going to a temple/church/mosque, call that number and pray. Call and pray. Call and pray. And maybe the prayers would be heard!
    I understand your annoyance but I get him too:)

  10. Confused Soul avatar

    You’re his sole hope.. so well the ‘wannabe actors’ going to continue tormenting you.. 😛

    Hahah nice post 😀

  11. sitalbellani avatar
    sitalbellani

    You never fail to amaze me with your writing!
    PS. Does that mean I have to send you a new photo? Hee hee

  12. Suruchi avatar

    Hahahaha….hilarious!
    And damn I did not know you were a “co-ordinator”…where can I send my photos and I promise to use pink backdrop instead 😉

    This made a superb read, just before going to bed:-)

  13. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Confused soul…you know what they say about a soul full of hope….the torment bit starts when they read and still don’t understand!!!!

    @Mr. Bellani…you still want to remain in my good books I gather…who else do you have now really? 😛

  14. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Suruchi…the actual word is coredeenatur…..I must make that change in the post…lol! Pink is passe btw try ochre yellow 😛

    @Raj Mudaliar….just doing my job…and you read na, iss route ki sabhi linein wyast hain…. 😀

  15. Raj Mudaliar avatar

    Cool stuff Blogwati G…your reality check has dimmed all my modestly BIG dreams of making it on the silver screen…
    Having said that can I have your number pls 😉

  16. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Red Handed……Danke 🙂

  17. Red Handed avatar

    Hhahahahahahaa…sarcasm and wit together…a classic

  18. Makk avatar

    now thats a hilarious post. 🙂

  19. Anita Jeyan Sandeep avatar

    OMG wannabe actor, please take a hint atleast from this post if you understood what she wrote 😀 I was ROFL at the ‘good cheap photographer’ part and the one with the blue background LOL!!!

  20. umashankar avatar

    Fortunately for me, I am just a wannabe blogger! 😉 I like your humour.

  21. sharmila avatar

    I totally see where it is coming from BG !They don’t even spare coredeenators of 32 teeth like me when they send their semi-nude pics in the mail.My only qualification is that I am a Mumbaikar ,a Juhukar and that Ekta Kapoor jogs in my backyard

  22. scribby avatar

    oh plan B to z 😉

    Hmm so you are a coordinator? err 😉 😉 casting manager/agent? Nice to know that…so madam jee when shall I send you my pics? and trust me I’ll be a good girl in calling you at least 100 times a day and sending you at least 20 fwd an hour 😛 😛

    On a serious note: you job certainly is a busy one and I can understand your fury at such callers and the likes…sigh,only if people would get a bit professional in their approach!

  23. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Makk….truth is stranger than fiction.

  24. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Anita…the strange requests leave you baffled at your understanding of the English language.

  25. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Umashankar……you belong to the best tribe that exists!

  26. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Sharmila…Being a Bombayite is the worst of the lot. I’ve had relatives send their friends’ friends’ with requests to meet SRK and AB as though we are ‘chaddi buddies’ Sigh! Thank you so much for empathizing…:)

  27. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Scribby………Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Fortunately the job was a transitional phase.

  28. Blogwati Gee avatar

    @Prateek…My life is an open book…..in FRENCH 😀

  29. prateek mathur avatar

    first post where we got to know a little more about u.. :)….

  30. prateek mathur avatar

    bon à savoir 😀

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