AIB Roast, what were you thinking?

I would be lying if I say I don’t cuss. In fact, it is a grammatical part of my life. There are times I can express myself explicitly only with an expletive. Don’t judge me, I’m Punjabi by birth. So, there, I have confessed I am a sinner. Ergo, clearly, I can’t pick the first stone in this case. So let’s be mature adults, and discuss about this AIB Roast. Shall we?

AIB Roast

Like everything else on You Tube, I chanced upon the now removed AIB Roast video of the infamous duo – Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh. I saw all the videos sequentially.

I laughed.

I smirked.

I grimaced.

I giggled.

I mocked.

I applauded.

Shame on me!

So what exactly was this AIB Roast?

Well, to quote Wikipedia – Roasting is a cooking method that uses dry heat, whether an open flame, oven, or other heat source. Roasting can enhance flavor through caramelization and Maillard browning on the surface of the food.”

And it is somewhat the same when you ‘Roast’ a guest of honour. You put them in the line of fire and DON’T raise a toast, to put it plain and simple. Yes, yes, totally a western tradition.

On Tuesday, Maharashtra Chief Minister Devendra Fadnavis had said, “If the AIB roast was vulgar and not in accordance with the law, then we will act.”

And you know what AIB, I agree. This is why your AIB Roast was wrong on so many levels.

1. You can’t talk about women in a derogatory manner. But it’s okay to physically manhandle them, rape and kill them. No one cares beyond a certain expiry date of public memory.

2. You can’t have a war of (bad) words in public. Take to the streets as angry mobs, cause disruption to life and destroy public property to prove a point, dudes.

3. You can’t talk about sex, sexual preferences and who is dating who, hawwww. It is, however, absolutely okay to watch porn in a parliament in session.

4. You need a performance licence, you dimwits. All you had to do was simply erect a wayside pandal and blast the loudspeakers way past the 10 pm deadline, you duffers.

5. You can’t give all the proceeds to charity. What about the coffers that need filling, you retards?

6. You think this was a family event like the many reality shows we have on television? Our bloody deo ads have more ‘sanskar’ than that, you losers.

7. You call this humour, you (para)chutes? Where was the comic filter that passes double meaning innuendos? Refer to an entire decade of that in Bollywood.

8. You sold tickets online? Bleddy artwholes, you should have simply gone door to door, and hand delivered them. Now see what you landed up into just coz a few invites did not go out.

9. You talked about politicians and their politics? Such amateurs, I tell you. Haven’t you learned anything about how to stay incognito in this country to survive? Leave your bleddy opinions at the back of beyond. You know that field beyond the right and wrong, yes six feet under that!

10. And lastly, to all those like me who are offended at missing this LIVE – Dayam Man!!!!!

Yes, I chose what I wanted to enjoy even though I knew it was ‘scripted’. I also chose it because I believe I am an adult who can choose what she wants to watch. I also know when to walk away from what I don’t want to be influenced by. And right now I am offended that as a woman in India, taking about my body parts is inappropriate but groping them is totally A-okay

The AIB Roast wasn’t a congregation of the holier than thous. It was an insult party. Maybe over the top for a few, yes, but then not all of us are uniform in our choices. And as the largest democracy this is bound to happen. However, as a nation, we always take offence on issues, and not action on priorities.

You can’t invite offence to an INSULT PARTY!

It takes a very secure person to go on stage and be laughed at. And goodness, gracious, great balls of fire on everyone who stood on that stage and took the profanity laced brickbats. It is not easy, even if it is an pre-approved enactment, particularly in the face of a larger than life audience. Take a bow you people.

And to all those who are planning on commenting on this post. If you are a cuss-virgin, please refrain. This is not a deflowering plant. If you are politically associated or motivated, please know this post or AIB is the least of your concerns. For your unchanneled anger, head to our country borders where our army is dealing with real-time crisis. Lend them a hand, or two. But please, don’t you be moral policing on my blog.

Because unlike AIB, I won’t take this post down.

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11 responses to “AIB Roast, what were you thinking?”

  1. Sid avatar

    My first reaction when I saw the AIB roast was, “Wow! We ‘Indians’ have finally evolved. We can actually take a joke or two without getting insulted”. But of course, the whole hoo-hah around it proves otherwise.
    It’s kind of sad that they had to take it down. I was looking forward to more celebrities being ‘roasted’ 🙂
    Hats off, BlogwatiG, for writing this.

    1. blogwatig avatar

      True, Sid. I thought it was super brave of them to do this. I don’t see any politician doing this ever. Or even a seasoned actor. And the whole brouhaha is all gastric trouble, that’s all. There are far important issues that need to be dealt with, if they could only focus without the politically motivated eye wear.

      Thanks for reading. Happy to find a like mind. 🙂

  2. Rickie avatar

    Such posts are against our culture. Just because “we” gave you the right to vote at 18, does that automatically make you an adult who knows what’s good and bad for you?
    Chee, chee, chee.

    1. blogwatig avatar

      Haan haan bilkul. I voted and I vetoed. Yaar hamare culture main shirt pant aur kaanta churi bhi nahin the. Yet, we have adopted that, no? And there are still people who eat with their hands only.

      Yahan toh adopt ki baat hi nahin ho rahi. Mudda yeh hai ki inhi logon ne le lina dupatta mera….

  3. Rachna avatar

    Chee chee your sanskaar are bhrasht. Bharatiye nariyan talking like this? *adjusts her holier-than-thou aura especially created for the public*

    1. blogwatig avatar

      Arre nahin please mujhe woh stuck in the backside with a large pole wale Bhartiya Naariyon se mat compare karo jo likhein toh literature and hum bolein toh phatichar. I am good on this side. The other side scares me.

      Tumhara Halo bahut accha hai. Kahan se liya? 😛

  4. Ruch avatar

    We Indians are a “pricky” lot. We like to take offense are up in arms against everything, except of course things that truly matter.
    Witty, sharp .. very very well said BlogwatiG !

    1. blogwatig avatar

      Opinions can coexist just like people. There will always be two parties to any claim, fair enough. But you want to be up in arms, pick relevant issues.

      You have people who don’t cuss who use cuss words to proclaim how cuss words are bad. Yes, I get the point. Oh God! Have the balls, take to the streets and be the change. Being a fence sitter in the comforts of your home is the easiest to do. Bah!

      Thanks for dropping by. You want me to draw a heart?

  5. Sakshi avatar
    Sakshi

    “This is not a deflowering plant”!!!! Jeez I laughed so hard till my lady bits rattled 😛

    After the AIB roast, one thing I have noticed is that it has become fashionable to say “I grew up in Delhi/north India/in a hindi speaking family and have never even heard of the cuss words that was so freely used in AIB.” Hain ji? Lagtha hai aap ke ghar pe sadiyo se firangi channel hi subscribe karte hai ya pair aap ki Mummy Papa sir grammatically correct English hi bolte hai?

    1. blogwatig avatar

      And Sakshi it is not like cuss words have never been used prior to this. What irks me is AIB is suddenly responsible for the sanskaar? Like really? It may have been over the top for many, not all the jokes were funny, but then move on for crying out loud ya. Learn to bleddy laugh at yourselves and get a life. Online activism karenge, offline pange lenge par ghar ke bahar nikalkar kisi ki zindagi nahin sudhar sakte.

      That’s another thing saying our parents never swore. Might as well say you are the immaculate conception. You would clearly know their life inside out. Such intellectual duds, I tell you.

  6. vishalbheeroo avatar

    I watched the video over and over. It was hilarious, you see!!! We need to take a chill pill and learn to laugh at ourselves. We have a choice to watch or not. Our right to get offended, makes me wonder. The whole sanskar thingy is ridiculous.

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