I write to you since the last 10 missed calls on my cell phone remain to be yours, diligently, for the past week. Having proved your pursuance and determination, I’d like to add a few skills to that list of yours. Perhaps by the end of this note you just might be a delight to have on board, or may be not….
Firstly, pray explain the need of 10 phone calls at a stretch! Any self respecting phone does have a missed call section. Come to think of it, even the Chinese ones do! So is this an attention seeking gimmick? If yes, then you surely are succeeding, for my ring tone now manages to get my teeth gritted and my eyebrows twitched in anticipation of your call. Ideally, I do revert to missed calls, even to the ones where people give me half a ring and then say ‘Oh we were trying, but could not get through’. I do understand recession has arrived in style and is surging across multiple shores simultaneously. But somehow, I have a feeling that you will invariably call me the eleventh time, so I never land up returning your call, simply out of sheer wickedness.
Secondly, I do hope you understand that I run a business here and start my day by wading through a multitude of portfolios received by the minute. So please forgive me if I can’t recollect who you are on the phone and worse, can’t tell you immediately if I have received your pictures. I mean, I am supposed to categorize and sub categorise the database that I have, mentally. Who ever thought of computers was such a duh! This brings me to my favourite part. Sending your pictures, particularly, the ones shot in the local photo studio against white backdrops. They cannot guarantee you an entry into filmdom. Nah, the blue backgrounds won’t do either. There is a separate race called photographers, call them! And no, I am not the yellow pages nor do I get commissioned for referrals, so don’t bother asking me for ‘good cheap photographers’. What is that supposed to mean anyway?
While we are on this subject, let me also clarify, please don’t call and then ask if I am a co-ordinator? I don’t have an identity crisis and if you are a ‘wannabe actor’, I guess you really won’t be calling the armed services now, would you? And just so that you know, I run a Casting Agency, call me a coordinator and you will be exterminated. Worse still, don’t tell me your friend gave you my reference if you can’t tell me his/her name. Save your energy and my time and get your friend baptized. I do hope you know that casting is my job, but getting you a coveted role is not. And no, filling my inbox with forwards is not a sure shot way of getting there either. Get the ‘Good morning-feel good-about yourself-god loves you’ sms out of the way too!
And lastly, if you are here to be an actor without a backup plan B, C and D, then I suggest you rethink strategy. This city skyline that beckons to millions of dreams every waking day is known to change the script without apt direction. The back ground music sucks and the sub titles don’t match the story. Hence, ‘struggler’ is not a career option nor is it a current job status. Not every silhouette makes it as a brand to the Billboards. Many stories lurch in the dark alleys of lost hope and crushed aspirations. So many eyes hide behind the glare of the spotlight, doing what they’d rather not do, but have to, to sustain. Yet, the magnetism of glamour calling leaves few untouched. Talent and good looks matter, but being at the right time at the right place is known to be life changing. No matter where you are, if it’s meant to be, opportunity will find you. Look for the signs; learn to read them in Braille, for sometimes life’s best decisions are taken with the eyes closed.
Till then…………..Iss route ki sabhi linein wyast hain, kripya thodi der baad dial karein!
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