Pride, Our Prejudice.

Last month, when I completed a year of blogging, I hosted my first guest post. Since then, the 20th of every month is a slot now reserved for Come on Over. A section where you will meet bloggers I love, admire and have come to call as friends. Today it is Janaki Nagaraj who drops in. She simply fills in her thoughts at Memoirs of a Homemakerย and trust me you ought to read them. An absolutely fabulous person, I call her Balika Vadhu for reasons best know to a few. Today, she talks about marking your territory and its glories. Go on and make her day!

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“It is an honor to be gracing the blog of Blogwati G, who in a very limited span of time has carved a niche for herself in the blogoshpere. I am a bit jittery because, it is not possible to match her wit and wisdom…I am not even trying. Personally, she is more than a dear friend to me. Don’t get ideas now…..”
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  ~ Janaki

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Yes, we all have our nooks and corners that are sacred….
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ย I have a cat at home. A male. But, everyday his mom pays us a visit. And, when she is there, she marks her territory.

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Millions of years into evolution, arenโ€™t we still the same? Territorial. Another million years, we will still be the same. With territory come the possessiveness and a sense of ownership. That explains the war.
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If you are still wondering what I am talking about, have a look at a Mother-in-law. She is a Lioness fiercely protecting her cubs and her pride. A perfectly capable homemaker till then, she suddenly feels threatened of her throne. It is she who insists that it is time for her tribe to expand and it is she who feels that no girl is good enough for her son! There isnโ€™t a schemer like a disgruntled MIL. It takes years to just peacefully co-exist, leave alone the acceptance.
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This reminds me of a formidable โ€˜kittyโ€™ group in our society. It is easier to infiltrate the Defense System of our country, but not this group. If anyone is included to this group, it is by invitation onlyโ€ฆthe standard met byย few. Forget elite club memberships, this is where most women want to be.
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We all enjoy our personal space. Donโ€™t we? And we all are proud of our families, our home, and our domain. But, it just doesnโ€™t end there. We have our favorite chair, our side of the couch, a place at the dinning table and our bedroom. Oh! Letโ€™s not forget the bathroom. Even if everyone uses the same bathroom, we leave our signatureโ€ฆa mark like that of Zorroโ€ฆa particular order in which the shampoo bottles are kept or the soap boxes for that matter. Do we let anyone sleep on our side of the bed?
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That brings me to the kitchen, a place holier than holies. It is a womanโ€™s domain. Period. Even if you have domestic help at your beck and call, the kitchen has to be the way a woman wants it. If the turmeric container has to be next to the salt, there is no way anyone could argue about changing the positions. It is sacrilege to mix up pots and pans!! Logic? โ€˜Doondte reh jaoge!โ€™
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So, it brings us to the million dollar question. Arenโ€™t men territorial? Of course they areย ‘coz anything female is apparently their territory!



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29 responses to “Pride, Our Prejudice.”

  1. Corinne Rodrigues avatar
    Corinne Rodrigues

    Fantastic. I love the way you allowed the idea to grow, Janaki. I’m very territorial when it comes to my computer! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. JANU avatar

      Thank you Corinne…for more than appreciation.

    2. Blogwati Gee avatar

      Corinne, ain’t she a fab writer? And loved the topic too. Yup, I am quite possessive too…………of my computer, my time, my space…..you name it!

  2. Hemant avatar

    I simply started visualizing what all you said…so true!!
    Interesting post..

    1. JANU avatar

      Thank you Hemant.

  3. sharmila k avatar

    Ahh…so true and so well said Janaki !! One might believe that it is more of a man thing but being territorial ,as you pointed it out, is very much a female thing too .

    1. JANU avatar

      So very much that we really do not even realize we are doing it. Thanks Sharmila.

  4. subhorup dasgupta avatar

    Men are just as territorial. Not just my gadgets and my books and magazines, but even household appliances, if they should ever malfunction or be misplaced, I know without needing to look whose fault it is.

    Took me past the question of men and territorial to what you perhaps wanted this post to lead to – how this is at the crux of all conflict. On one hand, ego and sense of personal physical and psychosocial space allows us to have a sense of self and identity and even build communities; on the other, it becomes a barrier to a broader sense of belonging/humanity. Great read!

    1. JANU avatar

      Thanks Shuborup. We are territorial without realizing so. We are more possessive and give value to attachments. You have put it better than me.

  5. vasu avatar

    Superbly penned !

    1. JANU avatar

      Vasu, my dear, thank yu.

  6. Suresh Chandrasekaran avatar

    The ultimate territorialist I am ๐Ÿ™‚ Never allowed anyone to impinge on my home ๐Ÿ™‚

    In all these days of evolution we have hardly gone an inch past the animals that we evolved from in territorial-ism. Well written.

  7. JANU avatar

    Thank you so much Suresh.

  8. Brian Miller avatar

    ha…and men are territorial beyond just their women as well…and you are right in that it often explains war…you have something i want so i take it…i would be very territorial with my family…miles.

    1. JANU avatar

      I know Brian…aren’t we all. Thanks for stopping by.

  9. Martha J. M. Orlando avatar

    Just loved this, Janu, especially the unexpected twist at the end.:) Yes, we are indeed territorial creatures; while this gives us comfort in our zones, it can lead to conflict if we are too over-protective.
    Blessings!

    1. JANU avatar

      We do have conflict issues at home when our territory is encroached upon…:) Thanks Martha.

  10. Meenakshi Malhotra avatar

    I love the concept and the way you explore it in routine life, The closing line is impeccable.

    1. JANU avatar

      Thank you Meenakshi.

  11. Afshan avatar

    Lovely post
    I Dialy fight with my husband on the same issue
    Infact we fight only on this I guess . If he uses kitchen if will be nothing less than battlefield . Things scattered here and there , open jars , too many utensils in sink . I get irritated !! Same is with any room or place and like u told
    True -men think we r their territory hence the mess !!

    1. JANU avatar

      No one can mess with our kitchen…and we can’t mess with their couch and remote control. Thanks Afshan.

  12. Rickie avatar

    Hah, oh my! What a bite in the tail this one had!
    So great to read your piece at Chez BlogwatiG!

    1. JANU avatar

      Thank you so much Rickie.

  13. Cairn Rodrigues avatar

    After nearly 20 years of marriage and me being a professional chef for most of them, my husband recently became a hobbyist baker. While I’m pleased that someone else wants to make the cinnamon rolls and pleased that he is stepping so far out of his comfort zone, I hate surrendering ‘my’ kitchen to anyone!

    1. JANU avatar

      ๐Ÿ™‚ I know the feeling…but, the kitchen must be smelling divine, right? Thanks Cairn.

  14. Lazy Pineapple avatar

    Lovely post Janaki..you picked up everyday things and showed us how possessive we are of our things and our place. I think we do for the sense of comfort and to know our place in this vast universe.

    1. JANU avatar

      Yeah Vinita…and I completely love my territory. Thanks.

  15. Sumit Chakraborty avatar

    I feel so puny commenting here, but still. This was just awesome, thw flow of the words make a mind float in what you may call your imagination. Everyone from animals to human beings are territorial..
    Wonderfully penned.
    #Hatsoff
    Balika Vadhu. ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. JANU avatar

      Thanks Sumit…whatever made you think you are puny.

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