I completely love my ‘me time’. I walk aimlessly around malls, watch a movie or grab a bite just with my pleasurable self. It is quite therapeutic really, sometimes when you just sit back and do nothing at all. So on one of my solitary dates at a popular eatery, I sat and took in the casual ambience and sipped on my favorite cappuccino when I saw them walk in. They made heads turn, two very alluring women.
One was dressed in a bright red spaghetti top teamed classically with a pair of denims while the other wore a saucy floral print halter dress with her tresses casually strewn around her shoulders. Brands would love them for they had the flair and apparently the moolah that goes with it. As they seated themselves right beside my table, I found my hand subconsciously straightening the stray knots in my curls. Funny, the emotions that a woman can evoke in another woman, a man can’t even begin to fathom the depth of it.
Well, they settled comfortably in the nook and were just about to glance through the menu when they were joined by another of their kind. Stilettos and style intact, she could pretty much be on the cover of a fashion magazine. Post many hugs and shouts of glee, much to annoyance of the rest of us, the trio settled down to restaurant etiquette. And then what followed can only be described as ‘music to my ears’. Well everybody loves a bit of gossip and no, it is not the prerogative of just the women folk! You’d be surprised by the amount men can contribute, they can be quite the worthy competitors for the title. None the less, my three divas, who I now call, Sexy, Saucy and Spicy for easy reference, pretty much made my otherwise mundane date an affair to remember. Excerpts from their conversation…
I am so going to kill my husband!
(Trying to calm her down)
Now, now honey! Being married does have its ups and downs, but it ain’t so bad after all.
(Still on a war cry)
Damn right, it is capital punishment really! Can you believe last night he wanted me to get a bit creative? What did he expect? Origami classes in bed?
You both are almost on the same page babe. What he expected surely started with the great big O, just that it rambled all across the alphabet before it reached there.
(In a more resigned tone)
Well at least you both still communicate. After 10 years of marriage, me and mine send mails to each other.
Males huh? Now that’s what I call a loving husband. Are they good looking? (Winks naughtily)
Oh, give it up you two. I don’t believe I gave up the attention of so many men for the indifference of one.
(Now scanning the room)
Well, whoever said that we can’t draw attention ladies? Just look around and you will find enough opportunities waiting to be grabbed by the balls.
(Looking more longingly at the grilled chicken that has just arrived)
Oh I have it alright, but I ain’t wasting it on yet another “I leave the toilet seat up and the wet towel on the bed’ kinda guy. If I am looking for thrills, I’d go bungee jumping for the heady rush!
Whoever said I wanted to swipe my credit card? But a bit of window shopping never hurt anybody did it?
(Digging into the grilled chicken now)
How does it matter? Products are all the same…..just their darn brand names and price tags differ!
Surely there must be the sensitive ones too; you know the kinds who really understand what a woman wants….
(Stating matter of fact in between mouthfuls of Bruschetta)
Those are the ones you take shopping honey to help you pick the right shoes. No can do for a rumble in the Bronx really…
So bottom-line we are stuck in a thankless relationship with an out of shape body and a man who is way passed his expiry date.
At this point while her friends try to convince her that she has not put on an ounce of weight and in fact she has lost some of it, I wanted to scream and tell her I’d take her body any day. But the way the conversation was going I did not think they’d take me too well …..So I went back to EVESdropping. And just then the gates of heaven opened up and Adonis entered. A body so well chiseled, I swear I could feel the ripple of every muscle within my anatomy. The good thing about putting on weight is that your wedding ring ceases to fit amongst other things, and so you conveniently forget that you have been off the hunting grounds for the longest period of time. So blissful in my memory loss, I feasted my eyes and my soul on every ounce of his Greek body, and then realized that I had company next door. Mentally resigning to the better players, I decided to go back to my silent spectator seat. Adonis turned, we unanimously sighed. A quick glance and then he cat walked to join his mate who was waiting outside. If ever there was a glass shattering instant in our lives, it would have had to be then…..for that one fleeting moment, we all were united in the grief of an opportunity so wasted……when she says…
GAWD…..that is like Gucci on 50% off but the sizes just don’t fit, damn it!
(In a resigned tone……)
I am convinced ladies, it IS a Man’s world….
No ya, I think God is a woman for sure…………only a woman would not want someone else to have what she can’t…………