I see the smile on your face. Yup, you know. But yet, yet you wish to lend your ears to the ever buzzing grapevine. I don’t blame you. Women are such elaborate species. Add to that the sacrosanct circle of girlfriends. One could build nations in years and destroy the human race in a fraction, but this close knit group is impregnable. No, not to be confused with being unable to get pregnant. Their icy stares mingled with their hot vibes, no defense mechanism has been known to uphold to that.
Stay with me as they feature as far as possible, strictly in order of importance (at least for the first 5). Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting to you, The Chronicles Of EVE!
1. The Soul Sister : This one is a rare gem that you find. Two, if you are really lucky. She will see you through your ups and downs. Be your strength and watch your back. A secret with her is safe forever. Hold on to her.
2. The Evil Twin : A ‘one in a million’ catch, this. If you talk about murder, she’ll come up with ways to bury the body. If you have a trick up your sleeve, she has two hidden in her bra strap. With this kinda girl, you are never in shortage of a good laugh or a master plan. Be friends always, she knows too much.
3. The Mighty Oaks : They are difficult to come across, but remember to keep your eyes open. These kinda friends are there when you need them. They will be all the support and back up you need. Once done, they love their space as much as they give you yours. Keep them in abundance for a happy lifestyle.
4. The Harmless Creepers : Available in plenty, they love to twist and turn around the mighty oaks and their sorts. Generally, they don’t have a POA and hence go where the sunlight and the extended branches take them. Harmless, but can be annoying at times with their hovering tactics. Remember to prune them regularly.
5. The Virtual Greens : Dedicated to all the green dots around the globe. They are probably friends you’ve never met or friends who’ve relocated to far off destinations. Their ‘ping’ brings a smile to your face, any time of the day. They are a part of your life, virtually, and perhaps know a whole lot more than your mother, thanks to social media. Remember to be grateful. It is a 1000 odd birthday and other assorted expenses, less!
6. The Ingenious Pretenders : Ah! Intriguing species. They are the know-it-all, yet, they will pretend to be unaware. Every text, every post, every chat and every tale does not escape their attention. However, they prefer to stay behind closed doors. Something about people living in glass houses, they spend a whole lot on housekeeping! Ctrl + Alt + Delete.
7. The Great Apes : No, not the ones swinging off trees. These are better. They swing off with your thoughts and ideas. Yes, you heard me.Anything you say or do, been there and done that. Present day stalkers, they bask in your limelight. Being inspired is good and imitation is probably flattery at its best. But why live as a copy, when you were born an original? Give them a piece of your mind, literally!
8. The Dial a Friend
: You have a car, I want a ride. Get the gist? They might not ‘know’ you, but they do ‘know your schedule’. Not that they suffer from hodophobia
, but you are just a phone call away. And as members of the Travel Aversion
club, returning the favour don’t cross their mind, ever! There’s no escaping their one-point agenda. Simply relocate to another city.
9. Barbie’s Cousins : These girls are fun. They live in their own ‘plastic’ world. Everything is peaches and cream, and brands. Nothing exists in between and beyond. Their air kisses blow you away, if you haven’t already drowned in their heady perfume. It is therapeutic to watch them. You instantly thank the heavens for the ounce of sanity you have left. Revisit them now and then.
10. The One Above Judas : Of all the girls you have, none a match for this one. She is the shapeshifter par excellence. She won’t betray you just with a kiss, but will throw you a farewell party as well. She swaps loyalties just as easily as she switches between topics. Being in the line of fire gives her an adrenaline rush. Dangerous just got pretty (and) real. Be AWARE!